eternalvoyageur's Xanga

Too Little vs. Too Much: Finding “Just Right”, Goldilocks Style (Beauty Care & Relations

Mon, 16 Nov 2009 08:16:41 GMT

I heard of a girl who used to tiptoe to the bathroom at 4:00 am every morning to brush her teeth, so that she'd impress her guy by "waking up" with fresh-minty-breath later on. One day he woke and saw her sneaking out of bed with a toothbrush, and she was extremely mortified. Yes, she was trying ridiculously hard, but isn't she better than the lady who has been married for 10 years and lets her moustache grow luxuriantly (why should she kill herself waxing ?)

Here is fantastic advice on the Golden Path of the Middle when preening to keep the attention of the domesticated male, written for you by The Naked Redhead. When I first stumbled onto her blog, the first thing I thought (for the rest of the day) was "I wanna write like her": I love her candidness, delicious sarcasm, and stiletto-sharp wit. (The second thing I thought was Mystic Medusa was right about Virgos swearing.)

Bio: The Naked Redhead writes about dating, love and relationships on her aptly named blog, The Naked Redhead. She enjoys list-making, performing improv, and playing with her dog and two cats. She lives in Columbus, Ohio (but sort of wishes she didn't).

Too Little vs. Too Much: Finding “Just Right”, Goldilocks Style

     I have several problems with the story of Goldilocks and the Three Bears, one being, WTF are bears shacking up in a house?! And porridge? Really? Last I checked, bears were carnivores (WHY they didn’t eat Goldilocks as soon as they found her is beyond me. I’m assuming their vegetarianism has made them into total bleeding-heart liberals.)
     However, there’s something to little Goldilocks looking for the “Just Right”. Lone-child-in-the-woods-walking- into-a stranger’s-home-uninvited-and-helping-herself-to-their-shit aside, here’s a girl who knows the importance of a happy medium.
    Which brings me to a story of two other girls. I’ll call them Too Little and Too Much.
     Too Little has been in a relationship for quite some time…and you can tell. She started out looking good for her partner all the time: hair, make-up—the works. Now, though, she’s adopted a “wash and wear” haircut (though the “wash” is dubious), her make-up routine is non-existent, her clothes are sloppy and her only accessory is a sour ex-pression.
     Too Much has also been in a relationship for quite some time. But this lady is a poster child for an overabundance of make-up, hairspray and cleavage. Her partner has never seen her without full foundation, manicure or perfectly touched-up roots.
     Now look, before anyone gets all Mama Bear and says, “Hey, I don’t wear make-up! That doesn’t mean I’ve given up!” or “Hey, I wear make-up! That doesn’t mean I’m high maintenance!”…I know. I’m not talking about you. Shh.
Let me explain…it’s all about attitude.

Too Little

    I was married once before, so I get the mentality of settling into a relationship. Marriage (or the agreement upon the LTR) marks the death of the single life. We aren’t that far removed from animals, after all…just like our wild counterparts, we do certain things in our single lives to make ourselves more noticeable to a potential mate. If it’s not make-up or hair, it’s a new outfit, bedspread, maybe even just an attempt to be “on” all the time. With the exception of one asshole I dated, every person I know makes an effort to at least wipe down the toilet (or at minimum, act embarrassed about it) before a new love interest comes over for the first time.
   About a year into my marriage, I checked out. I just didn’t care anymore. I didn’t work out, I packed on the pounds, and I grew listless. But my “too little” routine wasn’t simply that I knew I’d never need to attract a man again, it seeped into my entire mentality about my relationship. Why work on things—any thing—if we were in a “til death” situation? I mean, that’s PERMANENT, right?
Too Little’s tread on dangerous territory. Like plants, goldfish or babies, relationships die if they are not continually maintained. I am not saying that any woman (or man) should be in full-blown “going out mode” all the time, but effort on the outside can reflect effort on the inside.
    Look, Too Little is not just about the absence of make-up. I have a good friend who has never worn more make-up than a swipe of Chapstick…but she’s not a Too Little. On the contrary, she is scrupulous about what goes into her body, she takes time for meditation and yoga, and spends time pursuing the things she was interested in before she was married.   She understands that you can’t forget who you were before the relationship. That person is still just as important, as desirable and fascinating as she (or he!) was five, ten, or fifteen years ago. YOU just have to believe that.

Too Much

    Once my marriage ended, I dated a lot (read: I was a tad whorish). I quickly realized that there were dickwads out there that expected no less than Barbie doll perfection at all times…and they’d get women who bought the hype!
    Er, no thanks.
    Again, there is nothing inherently wrong with wanting to look good, but, just like with Too Little, Too Much can be a deeper attitude issue that can be damaging to a relationship.
    Listen up…perfection is a myth. It’s impossible to be completely perfect, and it’s the imperfections that make you uniquely YOU. Your partner may actually like the way that you smell and look clean-faced and fresh from the shower. My boyfriend thinks I’m cute when I’ve just completed a work-out and my cheeks are red and my hair is mess…I know, weird, right?

{Eternal*Voyageur: take a moment to read about what men want. It might surprise you.}

    I know women who are stunning without make-up, women whose hair looks fantastic after a joyful bike ride, and girls that know how to dress those gorgeous not-size-six curves. Personally, my boobs are practically non-existent, but I love that it makes me look “athletic” or that I can wear super low-cut tops without looking like I’m advertising. We are sexy even without hours spent in front of a mirror, especially when we get who we are and we stop trying to be something we aren’t.
   This acceptance doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try a new lipstick, or go to the salon for a blow-out or a wax. But if life gets in the way of “perfection”, be ok with that, too.
   If you’re a Too Much, stop trying so hard. Give yourself and your partner space and let those beautiful imperfections shine. Forgetting perfume or mascara one day won’t result in a break-up the next.

Just Right

    Both Too Little and Too Much have hope to get things Just Right. It’s simply a matter of tweaking your attitude. If you feel you’ve given up because life is crazy (new baby, new job, lost job, etc.) look at the cause and motive of your Too Little. Too Little is ok for awhile if life demands other priorities, but if it’s been months or years of Too Little, you may need to check your attitude.
    If you feel like you will be less beautiful without Too Much, check what factors are causing that mindset. Maybe take a belly dancing class or go to a pin-up workshop. Examine your perceived imperfections and find the beauty in them. And by all means, if there is someone in your life feeding you little vampiric lies that you’d be prettier this way or that way…fuq that noise.
    Be a Goldilocks…go for the Just Right, and you’ll end up resting happily at the end of your day. Just beware of when the bears come home.

--- The Naked Redhead

Photo by *Tiny Dancer*

The Practical Guide To Maintaining And Giving Space In A Relationship

Fri, 13 Nov 2009 15:17:13 GMT

I can't decide what makes a woman more attractive and lastingly desirable to a man: her having her own life and paths, or her letting him keep his. All this while being in love and having a together life, of course. To learn how to juggle all this and how to balance it out with togetherness and love, read my How-To Guide On Space In A Relationship on The Naked Redhead.
And while you are there, check out the rest of the The Naked Redhead blog for delicious sarcasm, and advice on dating and a little boning down.

Ok, that was in my nice blogging public-announcement voice. Actually I've been going all day like "my article rocks, 'cause the Naked Readhead told me so !"

Photo of cuddly racoons by Eternal*Voyageur

You might also want to read:

* Why do we cling to pain and suffering ?
* Getting your daily dose of real joy ?
* How to fake looking like you've got your shizz together
*more*

What I Wore: An (Almost) Maternity-Wear Free Pregnancy

Thu, 12 Nov 2009 15:03:22 GMT

A while back I wrote about having a stylish pregnancy on a budget, and now I want to share some photos that illustrate how I did it.
My main strategy was buying only maternity trousers, and relying on non-maternity clothes for the rest, mostly stuff that I had worn before the pregnancy. Most of what I did buy were things that I could wear even after the pregnancy.
I couldn't bring myself to buy maternity clothes that I'd wear for 9 months and then post-partum just 2-3 months. (Maternity clothes are too big to fit in the first trimester, and after that, well, there is such a thing as seasons. I started my pregnancy in the fall, and then went from cold snowy winter to quite a hot summer. So stop telling me maternity wear is an investment.)
To make the whole thing work, I used belts, leggings, belly-belts, and big jewelery.

Here are some snapshots, of outfits that I found snap-worthy.

All stuff, unless otherwise specified, is thrifted. Pardon the lack of shoes in most photos, I never wear them at home and forget to put them on for the outfit shots. Also, I'm no fashionista, so pardon the less-than-perfection of it all.

Title photo (top): dress from Malaysia (thanks FL !), leggings from Pimkie

Wool trousers from H&M I loved them, because I could unbutton the top buttons as my belly grew, and the lower buttons would keep the trousers nicely in place.
Warm stole from Zaragoza street market, Spain

I love the sweater, hate the shoes. But my black ones looked even worse. Actually the trousers should be longer; I've given them away for that reason. Nothing like taking outfit photos to learn what doesn't work.

The belly is apparent only from profile. Zipper of the jeans is held by an elastic.

White bead bracelets from India

I made this high-waisted skirt from a10-year-old's dress. I just cut off the top part.
Oh, and this looked much better after I put on hose.

Nothing really interesting here, I just wanted to show how I used the same stuff for different outfits.

Necklace is a gift from Bolivia, belly band from H&M (looks like it's a top worn underneath, but it's just a tube. It hides the open fly of the trousers.

The gorgeous bat brooch on the scarf is from my grandma. I'm wearing matching earrings. The tunic from Avanti (C&A), cost around 6€ on sale. The jeans are maternity from H&M, I didn't like them very much because they were too roomy in the thighs.
I wore this to some concert in the "lets do stuff while the baby still lets me" stage.

Here I commit the cardinal sin showcase the avantgarde look of wearing leggings as trousers.
Same tunic as in the above photo, it's wonderfully stretchy and it's not even a maternity tunic. Before you tell me that it makes my belly look huge, I'll tell you that my belly was huge. Really really huge.

This dress always won me a lot of smiles, am still not quite sure why. The shoes are not clear in the photo, but I call them the Harlequin booties since they are half light grey and half dark grey.
My belly was so huge that people would get nervous being around me. Blame it on the movies, which show women collapsing on the floor and screaming for ambulances. A real birth starts slowly, giving you enough time to walk home, feed the dog and watch a movie before you call the husband.

I wish I had a better photo of this. It's an Indian Kurta-Salwar (aka Salwar-Suit aka Punjabi), stitched for western tastes. If you can get your hands on one of these (try Ebay), it's totally worth it. The roomy trousers and tunic are way more comfortable than any maternity wear, especially if you have a sensitive and itchy belly.
I'm wearing it with a golden chain belt, and this peacock solitaire (from Bolivia) in one ear. The occasion was a Medieval Festival.

My inner Hippie. This was almost the end of my pregnancy, which I spent among the Peonies.
Dress is from Ebay, from Hongkong, I think.

Photos: Eternal*Voyageur

You might also want to read:

* Maternity bra myths
* Guide to Pregnant Backpacking
* Malaysian postpartum belly wrap: Bengkung
*more*

Exercise From Heels For Thighs, From Toes For Calves

Wed, 11 Nov 2009 08:10:41 GMT

This is a great tip I've learned from the ladies at Wizaz:

If you are doing your exercise from the toes, the effect is in the calves. If you work from the heels, the effect is more on the thighs and butt.

Working from the toes means having your toes pointed during leg lifts etc, or standing on your toes. Working from the heel is when the foot is flexed, or when you are standing with the feet flat on the floor.

Example exercises:
Skipping rope, stepper, running, Pilates (usually done with flexed feet=working with the heel,) Tamilee Webb's exercises, etc. Some, like the stepper, can be done both ways.

I wonder what this means to wearing heels vs flats ?

Photo by Eternal*Voyageur

You might also want to read:

* Adult-sized hula-hoops that I made !
* Hoopy happiness
* Call For Clips For Worlwide Hooping Video: "Where The Hell Is Hoop" !
*more*

DIY Tutorial: Eyeshadow Palette From CD Jewel Case

Mon, 09 Nov 2009 17:30:08 GMT

If you are like me, you hate having your eye-shadows and blushers in lots of tiny little containers. I often apply my make-up in the last moment, and I can never find the container that I want !

So, I decided to put all my eye-shadows on a single palette, and blushers on another. I used CD jewel cases, and it took me around 15 minutes.

You will need:

Eyeshadows or blushers
Empty CD jewel cases (look for thicker ones, not the flat thin ones).
A knife
Glue, or glue gun

I didn't use the glue gun in the end, since I figured it could get quite messy

HOW TO:

** Carefully, pry the eye shadow loose from it case.**

You will notice that the shadow in in a little metal container, which is glued into the plastic base. Be careful to insert the blade between the metal and the plastic ! That means, outside of the metal rim !

* Watch out: Be very gentle, and work slowly !
If you don't do this part carefully, you might crack the shadow.
If you do crack the shadow: Cover the shadow with a piece of foil or plastic bag, then press very hard with your thumb. Hopefully the pressure will squeeze the powder back together.
* Watch out: not all eye shadows can be taken out this way ! Sometimes the metal rim is too soft, and starts bending. In that case, I guess its best to leave that shadow alone, otherwise it might break.

Remove the inner part of the CD jewel case.

Not all CDs have this ! If yours doesn't, make sure that it is the thicker, bulkier kind of CD case ! The thin flat ones are usually too thin for makeup.

Arrange you make-up in the case.

You might want to group it by colour, or by lightness/darkness. Or you might want to separate the matts from the glitters. My stuff had all different sizes, so I worked with that.
Watch out: Try closing the lid of the case. Usually there is a gap on the left side, and small protrusions on the top of the case. If the lid doesn't close, you might want to move things around a bit.

I left the black palette as is, because it was impossible to take out the pigments without cracking them (the metal containers were too soft). The lid and little feet of the palette have been removed, though.

Glue the pigments into the CD jewel case:

Top: eye-shadows.
Left: blush & bronzers; right: eye-shadow from Dr. Hauschka. It's organic, and after I collect enough of it I plan to throw the toxic ones away.

Finding it a bit plain ? Decorate away !

You could use paint, ribbons & lace, rhinestones, decoupage...

Ta-da !

I used window colours on this one.

Any idea on how to reuse these ?

I hope that you liked this little tutorial ! I'm constantly making little stuff around the house, and I have realised that I could make photos and post little tutorials on here !

Have you ever made something similar ? Do you have ideas on other ways to make a make-up palette ? Let me know in the comments !

Photos by Eternal*Voyageur (me).
If you use them, please link back to me !

* Super mattifying powder -- Potato flour/starch and Corn flour/starch
* more *

Weekend Reads 06-11-2009

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 15:11:07 GMT

Deciding What To Do With Your Life (Without Actually Deciding)

The story of Bootsana. You can adopt a bat too. I had no idea bats were so insanely cute !

Breasts are rude.
Lost you cellphone in the house, and can't cll it because you don't have another phone ? You can do if for free through this website. This guy deserves a medal.

Moms, please be selfish.

Sexy sensual simplicity. My favourite kind.

Six Types of Jewelry You Should Never, Ever, Under Any Circumstances, Get Rid of, Because if You Do, You will Live a Life of Sadness and Regret. This girl speaks the truth. I was so happy to be reunited with my Indian cuff bracelets !

OkCupid made this experiment: "We analyzed over 500,000 first contacts on our dating site, OkCupid. Our program looked at keywords and phrases, how they affected reply rates, and what trends were statistically significant. The result: a set of rules for what you should and shouldn’t say when introducing yourself online." View the results. It's really really interesting, and often surprising.

This one of the best gags ever:

Photo by Philgarlic

* More Weekend Reads *

How To Keep Your Home Clean & Tidy In Just 15 Mins A Day

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 15:41:33 GMT

I'm a messy cleanness freak. That is, I love my home to be organised and clean, but I never manage to have it that way.

I used to ignore my home for days, then suddenly I was overwhelmed by the mess, freak out, and go for hours-long cleaning sprees. These made me burn out, and I didn't want to clean ever again. The mess started piling up again. Circle. Chain. Whatever.

Sounds familiar ?

Now I clean for 15 minutes a day (apart from vaccuming and cleaning the kitchen work surface). Most time I'm on top of the mess, and when someone threatens to visit, I only need to clear up toddler food and socks. Oh, and feel like I clean less than before. Just 15 minutes. Every day.

I got the "15 minute clean" idea from the Uncluterer. Let me tell you how I made it work for me:

* How "15 minutes" works:

15 minutes is so few that you can't use the excuse of not having time. I mean, you can't not have 15 minutes. (If you really don't, you need to quit one of your 3 jobs). So, you are likely to actually clean every day.
15 minutes is short, and this make you work faster to beat the clock. You get more done.
You're not fed up of cleaning after 15 minutes. That means you don't burn out, and you still feel up to cleaning the next day.

* How to use the "15 minute clean-up":

"15 minute clean-up" a regime cleaning your home for just 15 mins a day. That's it. Cleaning means putting stuff away as well as washing off dirt. It does not include vaccuming, putting clearing up dishes after eating, or mopping up the smoothie from the floor.

Here is how to do it:

Divide your home into 7 parts, one part for each day.
You may want to give yourself a day off on certain days, like the weekends or a day when you are very busy. Alternatively you can schedule the 'easiest' room on those days.
Keep in mind other activities: schedule the bathroom after your messy home beauty treatment.

Start the kitchen timer.

Work fast, first doing the essentials (putting away unsightly stuff, throwing out what needs to go, and emptying the room's trash into the 'main' trash.).
It might be useful to have a list of these essential tasks somewhere in that room.

Then leave the room. Come back, and note which ugly, messy or dirty thing catches your eye. Deal with it.
As the Unclutterer would say: “What single action would make the greatest impact right now?”

Do the stuff that need to be done only occasionally: clean the windows, remove spots from walls, declutter a drawer, remove spiderwebs, clean the TV screen, wipe the light switches.

When the timer rings, stop. You're not allowed to do anything else. If you do cheat and continue working, you won't want to work tomorrow.
Ok, if you've done most of the window, you can finish it. But try to keep track of time while working, so you'll have an idea how many tasks you can fit in.

If after 15 minutes your room is still a mess:

Train family members to put their stuff away and help with the household chores. You are not their slave.
Organise your stuff, so that you always know where everything is, so that it's easy to put away, and that the ugliest stuff is in closed storage.
Practice the habit of putting everything away after using it, immediately.
Get rid of stuff. You probably have too much clutter.
Lower your expectations. The house should be for you, not you for the house.

What else ?

I try to have an end of the day routine, when I put stuff away for a few minutes, and make sure that I'm greeted the next morning by a clean kitchen work surface and sink (nothing starts your day like doing dirty dishes from the day before).

If I still have the time and energy to clean after my 15 minutes. I check out Kelly's Missions. This lady is great to remind me to deal with areas that often get ignored (like the spider webs).

Photo by juliealicea1947

Bolivians Do It Way Better. Costumed Parties, I Mean.

Tue, 03 Nov 2009 16:37:54 GMT

Halloween has nothing on these guys. Absolutely.
The colours, the fantasy ! There must have been hundreds of costumes, from angels to demons, each fantastically handcrafted !

These photos were taken by my amazing backpacker husband. He was just walking down a street of Cochabamba, Bolivia, when he bumped into this. I miss living in a country where I could randomly bump into awesome stuff.

Click on the photos to see them large. These fantastic costumes absolutely deserve that !

I wish I knew what the stuff on these cars represented. Anyway, check out the lamas on the 2nd car !

Most of the costumed people were dancing. Some of the costumes must have weighed a lot !

Yes, this guy was dancing too. Try to imagine it ! His costume is huuuge !

This costume is cool. Move over, Batman.

And this little condor is the cutest:

Spaniards. Conquistadores. Donas and Torros. Ole !

And the Indians. With lots of feathers.

Of course, no procession is complete without Cholitas. Here in green and orange.

For Bolivian Wolverine and neon Archangels, see the rest of the photos.

Photos by Intiwawa

Just A Few Toxins Won't Hurt You

Mon, 02 Nov 2009 13:58:27 GMT

A common reaction to warnings of toxic chemicals in cosmetics is "but such a tiny quantity couldn't hurt !"

Ever heard of Homeopathy ?

Homeopathic medicines are made by diluting the active substances so so much, that the final medicament contains infinitesimally teeny tiny amounts of it, maybe a couple of molecules. And yet these medicaments are powerfully effective (they cured me of a couple of nasty sicknesses.)
So you see, even a tiny amount of something can have a powerful effect over the body.

It adds up

We are exposed to thousands of chemicals each and every day. All those tiny quantities add upto a chemical body burden of at least 700 chemicals for an average person!

We can avoid half of toxic chemicals we take in

We put around half of these toxins voluntarily into our bodies: we do have the control which food, household detergents, cosmetics and water bottle we choose. Some of us have even some control over their work area, like choosing not to use air fresheners.
We cannot live in an environment completely free from toxic chemicals unless we escape to the Amazon basin, but we can do a lot to avoid a good chunk of them.

Be smart. Read the labels.
Don't let yourself be poisoned.
You don't have to choose between beauty and health.

Photo by Will Gortoa

You might also want to read:

* Does "Mineral" mean natural ?
* Talcum in cosmetics: yea or nay ?
* Silicones and your hair
*more*

Best Halloween Ideas, Part 2

Fri, 30 Oct 2009 15:13:55 GMT

Even more DIY & other ideas that are cheap, easy and cool ! Check out part 1.

A new and improved way to cut a pumpkin.

Ok, the living severed hand is not so easy to make, but it knocks everyone's socks off.

Top 10 Halloween costume ideas: creative, different and spooky ! Get inspired.

One Pretty Thing is run by a V*G reader, has absolutely tons & tons of DIY ideas.

Make your own evil people-eating monster plants. The whole blog is like Halloween 360 days a year !

Pumpkin cake. In case you haven't figured out what to bake this Halloween ! Worth checking out at least for the "pumkin face" frosting !

Bloody drinks for raw vegans.

Photo: Pumpkins with iPod by TwisterMc

eternalvoyageur's Xanga

Too Little vs. Too Much: Finding “Just Right”, Goldilocks Style (Beauty Care & Relations

Too Little vs. Too Much: Finding “Just Right”, Goldilocks Style

Too Little

Too Much

Just Right

The Practical Guide To Maintaining And Giving Space In A Relationship

What I Wore: An (Almost) Maternity-Wear Free Pregnancy

Exercise From Heels For Thighs, From Toes For Calves

DIY Tutorial: Eyeshadow Palette From CD Jewel Case

You will need:

HOW TO:

**Remove the inner part of the CD jewel case.**

**Arrange you make-up in the case.**

Glue the pigments into the CD jewel case:

Finding it a bit plain ? Decorate away !

Any idea on how to reuse these ?

Weekend Reads 06-11-2009

How To Keep Your Home Clean & Tidy In Just 15 Mins A Day

* How "15 minutes" works:

* How to use the "15 minute clean-up":

If after 15 minutes your room is still a mess:

What else ?

I try to have an end of the day routine, when I put stuff away for a few minutes, and make sure that I'm greeted the next morning by a clean kitchen work surface and sink (nothing starts your day like doing dirty dishes from the day before).

Bolivians Do It Way Better. Costumed Parties, I Mean.

Just A Few Toxins Won't Hurt You

Ever heard of Homeopathy ?

It adds up

Best Halloween Ideas, Part 2

Remove the inner part of the CD jewel case.

Arrange you make-up in the case.